Oscars 2013

I realized this was five years ago! I always revisit this speech each year, anyway, a few times a year actually...

Ohhhh Alicia Vikander!! A Royal Affair and Anna Karenina dudes!

My mom approves completely...

My mom's favorite hairstyle, ever.

Generations.

Rebelle/War Witch star Rachel Mwanza. Different haircut from Berlin!

Adele and Jennifer peed together, and then Adele called her Rachel! End of story!

Cute!

Can she move? At all?

D'Fwan was literally on E! Was he not?! It wasn't him?

On a total different note:

Like a boss!! 5 Broken Cameras.

What happened to you K? I see bruises all over...

Ok, let's go. Let's see the Musical, right? It will literally be a musical and the speeches will have a 5 second range. Ahhh. Ok.
He did it, he made him laugh!

...Oh my God, that was fucked up...bless the break...

Beautiful! And there you go, short speech - wasn't it just incredible and sweet and cute?

Oh women are winning awards!

Wow wow wow - what a voice, first standing ovation - deserved. Break.

INOCENTE - I really really want to see this.

Sixto Rodriguez - That's what's up. The most inspiring human being I've seen recently.
Searching for Sugar Man - Best Documentary.

AMOUR - Zankyou, zankyou, zankyou, zankyou!

Where's Adele? I want Adele!!!

Yap, have to pee now...not now though...wait wait...

Oh my god...
A tie? WOW! How cool, Zero Dark Thirty wins an Oscar, so deserving.
SKYFALL?? WOW!! I bet no one predicted this outcome! No one!
Is this saying something about the 'other results' to come??

Ah shit fuck, here we go. It's going to hurt, this one! The speech, I mean.
It's not hurting at all...hmm...too many names! No offensive music? Wow. And there you go! Done. Next?
Oh Adele.
Ahhhh finally the pee. I think it's everyone's story at this point...right?!
How funny, the Academy President comes and guess who appears in the corner of the screen? Harvey Weinstein.

Let's see what this will say about the rest of the Oscars!
Best EDITING - Argo - William Goldenberg - cool.

OH GOD.
Nailed it. Nailed the shit out of the Oscars. Standing ovation in my living room. I think I heard this one before...*Kelley O'Hara - Love you!

Oh my God Kristen, they keep forcing you to do things and you keep being so painfully unconfortable about it!
Lincoln wins an award, Amazing! BEST PRODUCTION DESIGN. Oh and there's another Adele in the room...I love Adeles.

YAP, it's already a classic.

'Yeah.'

The Boobs Sequence was like...'hmmm why?', but in the middle it was like...giggles...but then, really, what's the point? Boobs, women have boobs, so...that's it. But then it's a joke. Ok, let's giggle a little, let's celebrate boobs, 'Yay'!

Though, I'm still thinking about that joke by Ted about Jewish and Israel...

No standing ovation to Barbara? I'm actually surprised. *Because it's about the dead.

Oh Keira...
Life of Pi - Mychael Danna - BEST SCORE.

ORIGINAL SONG - Amazing. LET'S HEAR IT!
Oh my god, you are amazing.

Well, and there we go, the final nominations.

My mom loves this woman - Who doesn't?
Chris Terrio - intelligent man! BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY.

Let's see the surprise - ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY - Wow, Tarantino wins the Oscar, seriously, wow. Let's hear it. Thank you me...thank you me...blablabla!

Ok, now I still have two No Guts no Glory predictions standing!
One is Emmanuelle Riva for Amour - which, hmmm, just become tougher.
And Silver Linings Playbook wins no awards - which consequently just become tougher too.

BEST DIRECTOR - ANG LEE!!! Ahhhhh this was my prediction too!! Oh my God, deserving ovation!
'Thank you Movie God!"
Everyone deserved this. Great great win though.

BEST ACTRESS
He made it!
Oscar Scene - literally - Jessica.
Oh God, no one's going give the Oscar to Riva after that scene, what was I thinking!!

OK I was right! JENNIFER LAWRENCE. My sister will be pissed!
What, what's happening!! There you go Jennifer! There you go, you're the woman of the hour, of the year, and of the years to come I guess! Good Luck!

BEST ACTOR
Daniel Day Lewis-----'waiting----'waiting----
History is made.
Oh that was brilliant.

"And now ladies and gentleman"
POLITICAL, I would say.
"Best Picture of the Year"
Argo.
Seriously? "Director", could you be more specific?
You did it dude, you did it.
Let's all take a deep breath.

Here's to the losers. Amen.
Here's to the losers. And that's a wrap.
P.S. Congratulations to the winners.
Also, Jennifer Lawrence, I don't think you won't be sleeping...or eating...for days to come...good luck on that! Everything will be Jennifer Lawrence from these weeks on...good or bad...Jennifer Lawrence...all the time, Jennifer Lawrence. I think you get it. So, again, good luck!