Wednesday, September 19, 2012

May December Romances

This was the hole of my Summer and all it took was merely thirty minutes. I was really reluctant to whether or not I should post this, to whether or not anyone cares but I spent some time on this so I might as well just post it. This is the first time I came across the sentence May December romances, though.

“Holly”, starring Kaya Scodelario and Billie Piper.

In a high school a teacher tries to address her students the best way she can, she struggles. The students are reckless. A girl in particular, with bright blue eyes, tries to be aware in the class. At the end of the class she smiles at the teacher, in no particular attention seeking, just a sort of uplifting incentive, and the teacher pays attention in no particular way. Holly, this young teacher, seems to be having a relationship with a married man, it also seems it’s as pretty empty as she is at the moment and unhappy. Meanwhile, the student with the bright blue eyes, Karen, takes the art project class to address her teacher that she enjoys her classes even if the other students are jerks and that she’s sorry for that. Holly thanks her. Sometime late, Karen asks Holly if she wants to go with her to a local art gallery. Holly gets defensive at this invite, from a student, she gives a blank response. But out of her contradicted state of perpetual unhappiness, why not? Maybe it’s just what she needs. So Karen and Holly get together and enjoy an afternoon at the Art Gallery. Later they find some time to chat for a bit, introducing their lives to one another. It seems just easy going there’s no age difference neither social scales, it’s just a young woman talking about her life and the other listening with care. Karen shares her thoughts too. She’s a young woman as well, she’s a student, but the only difference here can only be in her genuine and clean hopes and thoughts, yet untouched by the life experience she’s now building. 
We don’t really see much but Karen seems to be a warm support for Holly. She cares, she listens to her, she’s quiet enough for her taste and she’s just someone warm she can rely her arms into. Somehow Karen gets emotionally attached to Holly, so much she can’t see her crying, their feelings seemed to have been connected emotionally so much that Karen kisses Holly in the lips out of a passionate and rational appropriation to the feelings they have for one another. Somehow Holly makes Karen really happy, not only is that reassuring to Holly, it is also reciprocate, perhaps even more significant because of Holly’s condition. To have someone that shares all that love for her, that cares for her effortlessly, with no attachments of any sort but just pure affection. 

Now should the moral and rational questions be asked? Is Holly taking any type of advantage from Karen? I think the only thing Holly is taking from Karen is no more than what Karen is taking from Holly, an effortless care and reliable share of love.
They try to cope with the world outside but things will progressively get trickier, but somehow it makes them rely on each other even more. Things find its breaking point when the students intervene in their own way, that particular offensive grid that teenagers grow that is incredibly dangerous and frightening.
Obviously this is controversial issue, the relationship itself and the age in particular and being both genres makes it even more. I think mainly because these relationships aren’t often seen and of course, gayness seems to be always an issue. At the end of the day, people enjoy talking about it because I guess it’s just curious and fun, even more for young adults or teenagers of all different scopes of life experiences and eager knowledge. But even including this situation in particular, a teacher’s personal life is of no one’s respect but hers. Ok, the students could have thought that their colleague Karen, could come out beneficiated in terms of grades, but their seemingly hate and tease was for the relationship and the fact they were both women. It gets to the point when Holly just walks off her class and Karen decides to follow her. And this is the end.

It’s like I said, thirty minutes. Everything is pretty short and not substantially developed but at the same time, I felt it was thoughtful. Obviously this story would never end there; many different lines could have been chosen but in this case was just the students’ reactions and Holly’s mother, only briefly. It felt rather weak but we also have all this space to create our world of Holly and Karen, which for some can be reassuring. Adding the chemistry of pure subtlety and seriousness of Kaya and Billie and everything turns out fine.

This so called May December relationships should be questioned as equally as any other type of relationship, even if it’s being under the age of eighteen years old or of thirty two to fifty five. The opportunity should be simply the same; they have every right to try and fail and to have their mutual issues. And what if it works, even? What we, what the authorities have to say to that. I would like to think that this doesn’t sound naïve or thoughtless or even childish as opposed to an adult and mature thought. When it is nothing but a choice when a couple that has only been together for a month gets married, even if their imminent break up gets even harder for both of them; even if they would have just been hanging out as long as they wished and if indeed they would eventually break up it wouldn’t be so damn hard. Because it’s their choice, because it’s what they felt. Or even a couple that’s together from more than ten years and decides of no marriage whatsoever. Why an older younger relationship should be taken any differently?

These characters, Holly and Karen, aren’t even scandalous to me. Considering the age between them being no more than ten years apart (and given that this issue isn’t about age), I believe these type of affection between women is rather very likable to happen. I would find this tendency natural, especially from Karen’s age, there’s a tendency to look for a bit of a more mature security, to talk a little bit more serious without obnoxiousness. Sometimes there’s that search and sometimes I guess it’s just pure attraction. I would say that Karen should have all opportunities and credibility. Now, does it sound ridiculous for a young woman to think that she has the maturity of being in a relationship of this kind?
I think the word ridiculous shouldn’t be used, I would say instead that the only negative thing I would consider in a girl’s credibility to be in a relationship with a partner of a sometimes rather wiser experience is the missed opportunity of being more aware of the choices, of the experiences being taken differently if she would have a little bit more of a life experience, of knowing herself better. But this can also apply to other ages. So, thinking positively, if a relationship of this sort would go on, then they would grow together, therefore they would be able to go through all those learning new things together and experience life in many different ways until getting into a satisfying sustained state of awareness. The negative aspect it’s just negative, not going together through the learning. Because some go through with it against people’s eyes and others can’t get over the society’s judging and crushing eyes. Not to mention that a relationship doesn’t always involves sex.

La Belle Personne.

This issue never was and never will be about the age difference. It’s instead about people’s choices, about people’s actions and different grounds of judgments. There are the sexual urges, especially with men, but also women. There are many kinds. 

The Ides of March.

The Squid and the Whale.

The Good Girl.

Loving Annabelle.

The Millenium Trology.

The Reader.

The Graduate,

Flashback of a Fool.

An Education.

A twenty six year old man being attracted to a thirteen year old girl should question his sanity? Absolutely, but the grounds behind his issues could be based on very opposed reasons and circumstances. The next question is: should that be allowed? Are we saying it’s the girl’s choice? Because how many times do mature choices fuck up everything? What we should think in first place is people’s rights; it’s the rights to safety and especially the importance of listening. There’s an obligation to the law and for better or worse is the law. Sometimes there will be cases when they step aside as an unfair situation for the law breakers, but like in most things, there are always the outsiders. What I would like to think is that everyone should have a chance, because if we pay closer attention, everyday there are some people that are fucking up with everything against the righteousness of things, think of domestic violence, think of parent abuse. There are the ones being accused unnecessary but often times there’s someone abusing without accusations and in the middle there are some trying to find their legitimate corner with someone they fell in love with.  Am I saying that a thirteen year old should go forward with an older man? Wait, how could I decide something like this. Let’s see how things really are at the end of the day and so the case will be closed. There’s this hypothetical relationship. According to the righteousness of the law, this man has no right of taking a personal stand on this girl. It’s the law. We have our own year, it varies from country. When we become someone independent, we become our own responsibility. These are the negotiations someone made and that’s what we take out of it. Until then, we have a protection that is later passed to ourselves. So the man has that obligation and should be respected. But I know a twenty seven year old man that would be easily taken advantage of by a sixteen year old girl; this girl’s advantage could be romantically and whatever someone else dares to think. She still has her almighty protection. He is now his own responsibility. And this is just how it works. Obviously, this is a very unlikely situation. But at first, they all are until you discover that they’re not.

The rules and roles in our lives are always changing. Sometimes one day out of another there are changes. If all this talk felt like me saying it is acceptable for a thirteen year old to have a relation of some ‘adult’ sort, then I wasn’t much of a good writer, because what I really do view is opportunity. The opportunity to take a moment and to look at things with careful attention and not ever judge under misrepresented and unknown reasons, and care more about other more important matters. Like the disadvantages of a child’s love, in other words, child protections, women’s protections. Etc.

There’s actually no one better than Piper herself to discuss this subject, given that she married her first husband, who was ‘some’ years older than her. And I could go on and on and still work my reasons. 
But anyway, I look at Karen holding hands with Holly at the end and I feel, I don’t know about pleased, but I certainly don’t feel bad or weird. Possibly on an ‘immature’ point of view, I believe they aren’t taking advantage from one another in any way, whatever they take from each other is mutual because there’s love. Regardless of the shared love, things are always more complicated than this. But, what isn’t? What isn’t complicated? What?

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